How to Develop a Deeply Unhealthy Relationship with Twitter (25 May 2021)
- Follow some cool people on Twitter.
- Spend time on Twitter.
- See a cool person quote tweet some dipshit to be mad about them, or retweet a reply to some dipshit that dunks on or dismantles them, or say something controversial yet correct where you just know a bunch of the replies and quote tweets are going to be dipshits.
- Think to yourself "damn, it sucks that people on here are being dipshits. but hey, if I block all these people now, I'll never have them show up in my mentions later"
- Read through all the immediate (and, if your brain decides to, several levels deep) context, finding and blocking dipshits as they come up.
- Repeat steps 3-5 several times. Importantly, never only do step 3, so that the subsequent quest to block all dipshits attaching themselves to the original tweet becomes a habit, and then a reflex, rather than a deliberate decision.
- Get mad that you keep seeing dipshits doing dipshit things on Twitter. Consider leaving, but then say "but the cool people are here! hell am I gonna do, convince them to stop arguing with dipshits and posting takes that dipshits will disagree with?" Forget that you have any other options.
- Wait for Discourse, when arguing and dipshittery are ubiquitous.
- Reflexively seek out all the dipshits swarming around every time you see a new Discourse-related tweet.
- Be miserable on Twitter because your experience is overwhelmingly dominated by seeing dipshits being wrong and obnoxious, because you built a habit of seeking those dipshits out in the first place.
In conclusion, as Fraxiom put it in food house's "8 now",
I need to delete Twitter 'cause it gives me fucking mental illness